We all have a story. It began the day we were born and continues to this day. All too often, if not all the time, we use this story of our lives to define who we think we are. We think that if we had a different story, we would be a different self. Sometimes the story is ok and we like it. We had nice parents and nice childhood with great stuff and peace. Sometimes the story is not so hot. We had a parent and never knew the other one. We never had much and there was a lot of yelling around the house where I grew up. Sometimes the story is much much worse than that or ever so better. But based on the story of our lives, we define ourselves and it is a mistake. It is just our story. Just think of all the things that have happened to others in their lives, or not happened, that has lead to your story. How much of that did you and I have control over? Thirty five thousand, two hundred and forty three years ago, I had a DNA ancestor who may have successfully, or not ducked the blow of a incoming stick or spearpoint and continued, or not. That even had a direct impact on what became "my" story. I'm Dutch because those before me had me as a part of their story, in Holland, creating my story, but I am not my story. There is nothing in my story that I could control before my birth, and in many ways, little after save for a few good or poor decisions along the way that lead to more parts of my story, which could have gone many others ways with different good or poor decisions by me or others. I was a pastor for decades and had many many experiences on many topics in many placaes with many people. But that is just part of my story and not who I am in fact in this moment. Gnome sayin? When we indentify ourselves with our story, we label ourselves and it's those labels of parts of our stories that we mistake for who we are. So often, if not all the time, the average person will simply list all the stuff that has happened to them, good and bad, crazy and delightful that has made up their story to that point. That is them. If poor health is part of the story, then I am the person who has poor health. If abuse is part of their story, then I am the abused person. If I grew up poor, then I am the person who had it tough. If I grew up rich, I am the person who has great stuff and good memories and was a spoiled stinker. My story becomes my identity, and that is not who we are in fact. In fact, we are all part of the one and each part HAS a story, but is not defined by that story, if there is to be any kind of enlightened living in the present. We often feel that when and if we can change the story, we will be "happy", but in fact, we would just have more unfolding story to deal with. We can never connect the final resolution of our story with our internal peace. Happiness may be something that is not really what we are looking for. It may be peace and acceptance that we really long for. We may need to let go of the need for understanding our story thinking that if we do, then NOW we can be happy. Why am I sick? Why did that happen? Why can't it be this way? Why is it that way? Even if we did know the absolute reason as to why something was or wasn't or is, we would not be finally satisfied and say, "oh that's it. Now I feel better." We would then ask another why about it being that reason, even if it is THE reason. It never ends. Ideas, thoughts, beliefs and our experiences are just our story. Everyone has one. We don't find peace by accumulating more and more story or thoughts, or read another book as if that one final book would make our story work or me feel the best I can ever feel as a human. "If you understand, then things are as they are. If you don't understand, then things are as they are." We all have a story. And no matter what the story is or how it unfolds, our peace is better served by not mistaking our story for who we are at our core. What are we at our core? Who knows? That depend on who you ask and what book you go by written by people who thought they knew, or at least wanted to. I personally like the perhaps of "a limited five sensed spirit, trapped in a carbon based wetsuit." But that may just be a current part of my story, which of course is not really me. :) |
